Single Parent - Only Child

Single. Alone. Without a companion. It is one thing to be a full-time single mom; however, it is another thing to be an only child. Sure, both are alone, but as a single mom I have plenty of chores and activities to keep me busy. Sometimes a little busier than I would like. I don’t really have time to sit and think about the fact that I am all alone. Sure, I have my friends to talk to and co-workers, but we all know that just is not the same as a companion.

An only child on the other hand has every waking moment to realize that he or she is, in fact, alone. It is a full-time job, sometimes a mission, for an only child to find a companion. Someone to play with, someone to laugh with. Living in an apartment complex doesn’t seem to help matters much either. My son doesn’t understand why some days the neighbor kids can play and other days they cannot. I can see it in his sad eyes, holding back the tears, when he comes home and says they are having family time. Either their Dad just got home and they want to play with him or the three siblings are watching a movie together. Family time. Something my son has never had. Yes, we do things together and have tons of fun. We laugh together, but sometimes we cry together too.

I know that I am a good Mom and that my son has a good life, so why do I always feel guilty about the fact that he has no Dad and no siblings to play with? He is well adjusted, smart, loves to read, and an all-around great child. However, there are so many days when I look at him, really look at him, and see the sadness deep within his eyes. I see the emptiness of being an only child, longing for someone to play with him each day when he comes home from school.

Like me, my son is single. Alone. Without a companion. The difference is I have come to accept it and filled my days with caring for him. Making sure that I do all I can to give him a good life. So again I ask you, why do I feel so guilty?