Why didn't someone tell me that parenting involved a four-letter word?

Ah, the joys of becoming a parent - I can still remember the day I heard my son's heartbeat for the first time. I was a mom. Wow, a little person was growing inside of me. The showers followed with cute clothes and toys - diapers and blankets. I remember thinking 'what fun this is going to be' ...

Then I got the book. You know, the book that we all read when we are pregnant and assume the worst when we read about a symptom that remotely resembles how we feel. The What to Expect When Your Expecting book. Come on, you know it was on the table next to your bed.

Now I remember talking to friends about how I would never sleep again. How I would never go to the bathroom alone again. How I would grow to loathe laundry.

But nobody ever told me about this ...

Math? I have to teach somebody math?

Are you kidding me?

In four short months Dylan has gone from simple adding and subtracting (with borrowing, of course) to multiplication, to division, and now fractions. Talk about a flashback to math anxiety. Not only do I have to be calm and try to explain this, but I have to explain it in a way that my son doesn't burst into tears out of frustration.

And I fear this is only the beginning. Algebra and geometry are soon to follow. Not to mention science and the dreaded periodic table, biology and our friend the amoeba, and the building of a California mission. Oh my, I'm having anxiety just thinking about it.

I can handle the attitude of an 8-year old going on 14, the arguments about taking a shower (because we know boys don't like showers) - I can even handle the selective hearing that all boys must be born with. But school - again? I mean really, I did this when I was a kid and then went back to school a few years ago to earn my bachelor degree. Why in the world would I want to do another round of school?

More importantly, why don't people tell you this stuff before you have kids?