When the weight of the world seems to be crumbling around you, even the smallest task can become overwhelming. This has been the story of my life for the past few weeks.
As much as I wanted to be perfect, like this rose with each petal meticulously forming around the other, I just couldn’t do it. Finding perfection and beauty in anything was damn near impossible.
I was depressed and couldn’t snap out of it.
I did my best to put on happy face and pretend that everything was OK – but inside I knew that it wasn’t.
Inside, I was screaming for someone to make the pain go away. To make the imperfections I was feeling go away.
I was tired, no exhausted. Mentally and physically exhausted. My world seemed to be spiraling out of control and the only thing I could control was how I treated myself.
I could be hard on myself and notice every single flaw. Every single petal that was not quite right. Like this pink rose with petals falling off, I was flawed.
I have gained weight and that upset me. How did I cope with this? By eating more of course. Then I could turn around and be mad at myself for eating. This I could control.
I’m not happy with my home. The clutter and chaos has taken over.
How did I cope with this?
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