Life with Dylan

Category: Family

  • My Son the Photographer

    Over the past few nights I have been going through Dylan’s photographs from the last year. Yes, I am a year behind on photos. I have been editing his pictures, posting some of his favorites to a photo group we belong to, and uploading them to his Flickr account. Some of his photographs, well, they are really good. I only wish I had been doing this sooner.

    Dylan has come such a long way from when he first started taking pictures and I have really enjoyed watching him grow as a photographer. He takes his time now and thinks about the image in his mind. Sure, there are still those times when the picture is out of focus or a head gets cut off, but for the most part he is a pretty darn good photographer for being only 10 years old.

    My favorite is when he takes a picture and says, “Hey mom, is this one any good?” Like he took a really bad picture, but then smirks because he knows that he just nailed it!

    Tigress Danai

    Sharing a love for photography with my son is wonderful and not something that I anticipated. It’s the hobby that quickly became an obsession and now we don’t go anywhere without at least one camera.  Dylan is starting to use Instagram more and loves leaving comments on others Flickr photos.

    He is learning to use words like contrast, depth of field, clarity, and composition. I look forward to seeing what he photographs this year. Because after all, the possibilities are endless when you give a child a camera.

    Photos by Dylan Fryer

    To see more of Dylan’s photographs visit his Flickr page.

  • My son will always come first in my life

    Something I learned when I became a parent was that the needs of my child would take precedence over my own needs. I thought this would change as my son got older – and in some aspects it has, but not entirely.

    I am at a point in my life where I would like some things to change. I am thinking about a career change and a possible move, which would be a done deal if it was just me. However, I have a son and I will always be a parent first. So I must put on my mom hat, the one filled with rationality, before making any hasty decisions.

    Would it be fair to pull him from his school where is very happy? Would it be right to go back on promises of future vacations because a new job won’t give me the time off I have now? Do I just continue down the path we are on for a little longer? Maybe make some modifications, but no major changes?

    I’ve spent the last week thinking about nothing but the future and the changes that I will or won’t make. Countless hours on the internet looking at my options. Sleepless nights with tears of frustration, followed by 3-4 cup coffee mornings. Nobody ever said that being a parent was easy, but they also didn’t say how tough it was being a single parent.

    Every single choice I make will effect my son and I need to make sure that I am making the right choices. Not just what is best for me, but what is best for us – for my family. Now 10 years old, my son is still determining the path that I take in life and that is perfectly ok with me.

    Some people may think I am wrong for thinking this way, but my son will always come first in my life. He is a pretty incredible kid with some big dreams of making this world a better place. Making his hopes and dreams come true is my priority. I had 32 years to myself before him and in 8 short years he will be off to college – so for now there will be no major changes -we will continue down this path together. Laughing and loving every minute of our adventure.

  • Happy Birthday Dylan … Enjoy your pet tiger!

    Wow, I still can’t believe that my little boy is 10 years old today. It seems like just yesterday he was a toddler asking me to hold him up so he could see the animals over the railing. Asking me to read him the signs at the zoo and tell him about the animals. “Are the vulnerable or endangered Mommy?”  That was his favorite question to ask and the first thing he learned about all the animals.

    Now he is the one teaching me about animals and surprising me every day with his continued love for animals and conservation.

    I’m not sure where I would be without this little guy. He changed my world forever when he was born and every day has been an adventure ever since.

    So what do you get a kid like Dylan for his birthday?

    The kid who last year wanted nothing but to raise money for the tigers at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Helping build a new home called Tiger Trail was all he asked for.

    A kitty that looks like a tiger of course!

    Thanks to my friend Heather, who posted an adorable picture of a rescued kitty on Instagram a few weeks ago, our family has grown.

    This adorable 10 week old kitty stole our hearts the minute she arrived today.

    Oh, and Dylan named her Tiga too! In honor of the new female tiger at the San Diego Zoo.

    Happy Birthday Dylan!

  • Saying goodbye to my childhood home was harder than I thought

    Some of life’s big events we are prepared for, while others take us by surprise. Not surprised like you didn’t know it was going to happen, but surprised by how the event effected you. I have known that my parents were selling their house for over a year now. This was something that had been talked about over and over.

    The house was on the market for almost a year with nothing. Then there was an offer – and the next words that took over the conversations were “in escrow”. Everything seemed to be moving along, yet nothing had really changed. Sure, we had a few garage sales and my mom started cleaning out some closets, but the house still looked and felt the same.

    The house where I grew up. Where my tree was planted. Where I was picked up for my first date. Where I spent so many holidays with family.

    Anniversary parties, wedding receptions, bridal showers, baby showers, and my son’s 1st birthday were all at this house.

    This was the home where I lived when my son was born, the home he came home to from the hospital. The home where he learned to crawl and walk.

    Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

    So many memories – 30 years worth – were suddenly being packed into boxes. One closet at a time. One room at a time. It was all disappearing before my eyes.

    The last week of packing was like a whirlwind. So much to do and so little time. I don’t think it really sank in until the final days when the moving trucks arrived.

    On the final day we had one last family dinner together and reminisced about growing up in the house. So many of my favorite sunset pictures were taken from the balcony off my parents bedroom that I had to get a few more pictures.

    Looking around at the empty rooms and the boxes was unreal to me. Was this really happening? I felt like I was walking in a dream. In fact, I have felt that way for about a week now. Slowly, day by day, it is sinking in that my childhood home is gone. I drive by it and nobody is there. It’s just an empty house. I won’t be walking through the front doors any more yelling “Hello, I’m here … Mom, where are you?”

    So here it is. My last sunset picture from the balcony of my childhood home.

    I think it is ironic that the final sunset was filled with dark clouds signifying the end of something. Sadness and emptiness. So many memories in that house. So many memories.

    A chapter in my life has closed and it is time to start a new chapter. New schedules, new routines, and new responsibilities. Who knows, maybe it was time for a change … I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the familiar life I had known for so many years.

  • We’re taking a little vacation

    With Christmas only a week away and a two week break from school and work starting this Friday, we have decided to take a vacation of sorts. Not your typical vacation – no planes or hotels involved. Rather, we are taking a vacation from writing and blogging and posting and tweeting and … well, you get the idea.

    The tree is up and the stocking are hung. We’ve decorated the house with some cherished memories and now it’s time to sit back and enjoy the time together as a family.

    Maybe do some baking and start a new book.

    Who knows, I might even get crafty and start a new project – the type with needle and thread.

    We’ll for sure take some day trips to see our friends at the Zoo and Safari Park – oh, and the lovely school project of making a California relief map out of salt and flour dough. That should be fun.

    I may get the desire to write every now and then, but until the new year there won’t be any postings for the regular features like Endangered Species Monday or Sunset Sunday. They aren’t going away, just taking some time off. Who knows, I may even come up with a new weekly feature or some special posts that have been whirling around in my head for some time now.

    Enjoy the holidays and we will see you in 2013

    Michelle and Dylan

  • Sometimes I forget that he is still a child

    One of the best things about being a single parent is the close relationship that I have with my son. We are best friends and talk about everything. He doesn’t feel the need to hide anything from me and I have always told him that we are a team. We plan vacations together rather than me telling him where we are going. The last time we moved it was an open discussion. We have lengthy talks about conservation and how together we can save the world.

    One of the worst things about being a single parent is the financial struggle that seems to never go away. I still remember how happy I was when he was potty trained. Woo-hoo, no more expensive diapers and daycare rates went down. I had conquered what I thought was a major mountain at the time, only to find out a year later that it was one of many small hills. His feet kept growing, which meant new shoes and his appetite continues to grow, which means higher grocery bills. Lord help me when he becomes a teenager!

    He knows that when we go to Target it doesn’t mean he gets a new video game every time. He knows that when we go to the grocery store he can’t have his favorite tortellini unless it is on sale. He knows that when we go to the zoo he doesn’t get to buy a new book every time.

    When he says, “Mom, I can’t wait until we have enough money to  …”
    I stop in my tracks and gasp. My heart sinks. I think why are these words even coming out of his mouth? He should not be worried about this. He should be worried about how long he can stay outside playing or how late I will let him stay up on the weekend.

    I don’t believe in holding things back from him – I never have. Many people disagree with me about this, but I think he is a better person for knowing the value of a dollar. He knows buying food and paying rent comes before buying a new video game. He gave up his birthday to raise money for the tigers. He is years ahead of his age at times – but sometimes I forget that he is still a child.

    Teaching to live within our means is one thing. Sharing too much information and having a child worry is another.

    I may be able to have adult conversations with my son about a million things, but starting today money is no longer one of them. As parents we often forget that children pick up on our stress and it becomes their stress. They have a lifetime ahead of them to deal with stress – let them be kids for as long as they can.

    Have you ever noticed your child picking up on your stress?

  • A birthday letter to my son

    Dear Dylan,

    Nine years ago today I gave birth to the most wonderful child I could ever imagine. He was perfect in every possible way. That child was you. You have made me a better person and bring so much joy to my life. You continue to amaze me with your knowledge about animals and compassion for others. Sometimes I wonder if I’m talking to a child or an adult. Even though I often tell you to be quiet (because you talk non-stop), I love listening to you tell me about what you have learned.

    You have already done some pretty great things, including raising over $1,000 for the tigers, and I can’t wait to see what you do next. I just know that you are going to grow up and become something truly special. You have and you will continue to make a difference in the world.

    As much as I would like to keep you small and miss the days when I could hold you in my arms, I know that you are growing up. I no longer have to lift you up to see over the railing or hold you on my shoulders. I don’t have to tell you to hold my hand anymore, but I sure do like it when you reach for mine. You see Dylan, this tells me that in some small way you are still my little boy.

    And when you act silly or climb on animals statues begging for me to take your picture … well, this reminds me that you are still a kid too … at least a kid at heart.

    Happy Birthday Dylan!

    Love,
    Mom

  • Strengthening Family Bonds

    Well, Spring Break is over. I have gone back to work. Dylan has gone back to school. No more staying up late and sleeping in. It’s back to the daily grind of packing lunches and homework.
    Sounds sad right?

    It all depends on how you look at the situation. We both had so much fun over the break on our mini-vacation in San Diego (yes, I will be posting pictures and sharing soon) that we have decided to adapt to the vacation mode lifestyle. At least as much as we can and still manage to go to work and school.

    Over the break we led a simple life. No real schedules, no hectic going from one place to another. We talked more – real conversations. We laughed more and I believe our bond as mother and son strengthened because my attention was focused on us. On our family. Not on what had to be done around the house or checking emails.

    He said please and thank you more. He actually put things away without me asking him to. This went on the whole week of Spring Break and has continued. Was this my son? Why the sudden change?

    Well, as with any change, it is best to look at what was done different in your daily routine. Knowing that I couldn’t really count going to the San Diego Zoo, or the San Diego Zoo Safari Park, or staying at a hotel for two nights, I had to think. What had we done different.

    Ah yes, that was it. We were talking, not arguing. We were smiling, not pouting. We laughed instead of crying over hurt feelings. We treated each other with love and respect.

    Something happened in San Diego, and I can’t quite put my finger on it – but I’m not complaining.
    I like adapting to a simpler life. Enjoying what each day brings and planning new things to do together – as a family. Because when all is said and done, the strength of a family can move mountains. Me and Dylan – we’re moving some mountains.

  • The Little Ordinary Things

    I don’t know about you, but last week was a massive whirlwind for me. It’s not that I had anything more to do than normal, but I just kept running out of time. Three days last week I had to spend my lunch break driving across town to deliver lunch to my son at his school because I ran out of time to make his lunch at home.

    Laundry, um well, it got done the week before and we are still pulling socks out of the clean laundry basket because matching socks and folding pj’s just didn’t seem to be a priority.
    Dishes? Yep, they piled up too.

    Tonight I feel like I got caught up – well, at least a little bit. That was until I happened to look up at the top of my bookcase and saw this sad, sad plant.

    Now to some of you, this just looks like any ordinary house plant. To me, this is the one plant that I haven’t killed! I have kept this little guy alive for over 7 years and that includes 3 moves.

    That’s huge for me!

    Seeing him so sad and wilting made me realize that I really have not been looking at the important things in my life. The things that I take for granted.

    The little things that make me smile each day.

    Like this plant …

    and my son’s face when I tell him he did a good job…

    or that I am proud of him.

    These little things, that seem so ordinary to us, suddenly become extraordinary when we start to neglect them. They become lifeless and it’s all we can do but take notice of how important they really are.

    So those socks in the laundry basket that need to be folded and the dishes in the sink can wait. Nothing will happen to them. They won’t wilt. They won’t look sad.

    However, my little plant and my son will.

    Moral of the story – No matter how busy you get, no matter how big of a whirlwind your life becomes, never forget about the little ordinary things that mean so much to you.

  • Family Time

    There is something to be said for spending time together as a family. Not just sitting in front of the television together, but real quality time together. This doesn’t mean you have to spend lots of money – be creative and think about what your child enjoys doing.

    You may be surprised at how the simplest things, like playing a game of checkers with your child, will mean more to them than spending the day at an amusement park. It’s the time when you turn off the television. Unplug from the internet. Put down the phone. (yes, I did pause to take this picture and was quickly reminded of the rules – No phone Mom) The time when you give all of your attention to your child.

    This is what they will remember. Believe it or not, children pay more attention to the times we say “Just a minute” or “I can look when I finish my work” than we think they do. And before long, they will stop asking you to look at the picture they just drew – or the LEGO creation they just made.

    Before you know it, your child will be too busy with their friends to even want to play a board game with you or swing at the park. I often wonder how my son got so big so fast – and before I know it, he will be dating and going off to college.

    This may sound far fetched since he is only 8 years old, but these past eight years flew by. So who’s to say the next eight years won’t fly by just as fast?

    Quality time can’t be bought.

    Quality time is priceless.

    How much quality time do you spend together as a family?