Life with Dylan

Category: growing pains

  • Wordless Wednesday – All grown up

    A new haircut and he looks years older than he is. Oh, Dylan … don’t grow up so fast.

  • Is it a phone or another toy?

    Don’t get me wrong, I love my iPhone as much as everybody else does, but sometimes I wonder whose phone it is. It seems like I am constantly telling my son “It’s a phone – Not a toy”

    Yes, I play games on my phone, who doesn’t? And if you say you don’t then you are probably in denial. However, the majority of the time I am making an actual phone call or checking my emails from my phone. OK, I might be texting, tweeting, instagraming, or checking in … but it’s my phone. I paid for it. I’m the adult.

    The other day I was looking for a picture that I took for a blog post and stumbled across something that caught my attention.

    An alligator on ice skates pushing another alligator in a shopping cart? What is this?

    Did I take a picture of something and not remember?

    Oh wait, this looks like a game my son was playing the other day. So I ask him if he took a picture on the phone? Nope. I said, “really – because there is a picture of an alligator on ice skates” … Oh, yeah that’s from my game Where’s My Water?

    This is just a brief account of the conversation because in reality this went on for about 5 minutes before he admitted taking a picture. Although he didn’t really take a picture – he just saved the reward he got in the game. I don’t care that he plays games, nor do I care that he saved a picture of the game. What I do care about is that he realizes it’s a phone!

    You know that thing we use to call people? If he keeps playing games and draining the battery, then what happens when we actually need to use the phone to call someone?

    Do your kids take over your iPhone? What age is the appropriate age to get a kid their own iPhone?

  • Family Time

    There is something to be said for spending time together as a family. Not just sitting in front of the television together, but real quality time together. This doesn’t mean you have to spend lots of money – be creative and think about what your child enjoys doing.

    You may be surprised at how the simplest things, like playing a game of checkers with your child, will mean more to them than spending the day at an amusement park. It’s the time when you turn off the television. Unplug from the internet. Put down the phone. (yes, I did pause to take this picture and was quickly reminded of the rules – No phone Mom) The time when you give all of your attention to your child.

    This is what they will remember. Believe it or not, children pay more attention to the times we say “Just a minute” or “I can look when I finish my work” than we think they do. And before long, they will stop asking you to look at the picture they just drew – or the LEGO creation they just made.

    Before you know it, your child will be too busy with their friends to even want to play a board game with you or swing at the park. I often wonder how my son got so big so fast – and before I know it, he will be dating and going off to college.

    This may sound far fetched since he is only 8 years old, but these past eight years flew by. So who’s to say the next eight years won’t fly by just as fast?

    Quality time can’t be bought.

    Quality time is priceless.

    How much quality time do you spend together as a family?

  • Is it a Slump or another Mountain to Climb?

    We’ve all been there. The feeling of listlessness, completely unmotivated, sitting on the couch … in a slump.

    Some slumps only last a few hours, others days. My slump has lasted about 4 days and frankly, I’m tired of being in a slump. Mostly because I can’t pinpoint why I’m here. What has caused me to be so tired and unmotivated to do anything?

    I managed to go through some paperwork last night and create some reasonable to-do lists. I feel like this is something I can accomplish this weekend. I have enjoyed relaxing and watching some of my favorite TV shows at night. I’m not feeling stressed out and I’m not getting sick.
    Then it hit me like a book in the head. Just like the stack of books I have cherished for so many years that sit beside my bed.

    My slump is caused by the realization that my life as I have known it for over a decade is ending. My life as a makeup artist is no more.

    (more…)

  • Tough Decisions

    Sometimes in life we come to a fork in the road. We may only have to choose to go right or left, but sometimes we have another option – to continue going straight ahead. The hard part is deciding which way to go.

    (C) by http://www.martin-liebermann.de

    I have come to yet another fork in the road and something is telling me to go right instead of continuing on the path I have been going. The path that I have known. The path that is straight in front of me. This path is comfortable, I know it … but I’m not getting what I want or need.

    Letting things go that we love can be difficult. Sometimes downright painful. Letting go of something that I have put so much time and energy into is not an easy decision to make. However, other paths have presented themselves to me and I want to see what lies beyond the bend in the road. I want to see the forest through the trees and all the beauty it has to offer. For so long I have only seen the trees.

    I have not failed, because to fail at something means that I didn’t try. Didn’t try to do my best. My focus needs to change now and that scares me, but as with everything I have done in my life, I have no regrets.

    I believe I will take the path to the right and free up some space. Remove some of the trees that are keeping me from seeing the forest.

  • Mom Guilt

    I have heard that the secret to a happy marriage is never go to bed angry. This may be true.

    However, today I learned something even more important. Never leave the house angry in the morning.

    Today had to be one of the worst days ever as a Mom. I was having a bad morning and I was running late for work. Rather than stay calm, I proceeded to take out my frustrations on my son. He wasn’t tying his shoes fast enough, his lunch wasn’t ready, his homework wasn’t in his backpack.

    (more…)

  • Single Parent – Only Child

    Single. Alone. Without a companion. It is one thing to be a full-time single mom; however, it is another thing to be an only child. Sure, both are alone, but as a single mom I have plenty of chores and activities to keep me busy. Sometimes a little busier than I would like. I don’t really have time to sit and think about the fact that I am all alone. Sure, I have my friends to talk to and co-workers, but we all know that just is not the same as a companion.



    An only child on the other hand has every waking moment to realize that he or she is, in fact, alone. It is a full-time job, sometimes a mission, for an only child to find a companion. Someone to play with, someone to laugh with. Living in an apartment complex doesn’t seem to help matters much either. My son doesn’t understand why some days the neighbor kids can play and other days they cannot. I can see it in his sad eyes, holding back the tears, when he comes home and says they are having family time. Either their Dad just got home and they want to play with him or the three siblings are watching a movie together. Family time. Something my son has never had. Yes, we do things together and have tons of fun. We laugh together, but sometimes we cry together too.

    I know that I am a good Mom and that my son has a good life, so why do I always feel guilty about the fact that he has no Dad and no siblings to play with? He is well adjusted, smart, loves to read, and an all-around great child. However, there are so many days when I look at him, really look at him, and see the sadness deep within his eyes. I see the emptiness of being an only child, longing for someone to play with him each day when he comes home from school.

    Like me, my son is single. Alone. Without a companion. The difference is I have come to accept it and filled my days with caring for him. Making sure that I do all I can to give him a good life. So again I ask you, why do I feel so guilty?

  • Dylan’s Lego Birthday – Part 1

    Last week was Dylan’s 8th birthday and the festivities seemed to go on forever. Maybe that is why I kept putting off writing this blog post. Or maybe it is because I was hoping for something a little more exciting to write about. So much time and preparation went into planning Dylan’s LEGO Birthday party. Everything he wanted, I somehow managed to make happen. The only thing I couldn’t do was make people show up!

    Yes, I said it, people didn’t show up to his party. I wonder what posses a parent to RSVP with a yes and confirm via email only days before the party and then not show up. No call, no email, no text … nothing. Only three kids showed up and two of them were twins, so that doesn’t really count. So basically, two people showed up out of the seven who said they would be here. Well, we made the best of it and still had fun!

    The living room was transformed into a Lego-wonderland and the kids had time to build whatever they wanted. Some of the creations were great! We even had a jar filled with Lego’s and the person who guessed the closest to how many Lego’s were in it won a prize. I knew there was a good reason for Dylan to own so many Lego’s.

    Next we played Lego Bingo with a great template I found  from Amy at LivingLocurto.com The kids loved this game so much that we played three times! Since all the kids didn’t show up, I had extra prizes to give away … see I found one positive already!



    Using Lego mini kits we also had races to see who could build the kit the fastest. However, I was so busy watching the kids that I forgot to take pictures of this. Oops!

    Mini Corn Dogs, Cheese Balls, and Fresh Fruit
    Cake designed by Dylan – Made by Mom

    All in all, the kids had a good time. The birthday kit from the Lego Store was huge hit with kids too!

    I guess the mom in me just feels bad that my son couldn’t have had a better party. The party that he had dreamed about.

    Is there something wrong with home birthday parties? Do parents only want to go if the party is at a pool or a bounce house like Jump ‘n Jammin? Do I need to pay hundreds of dollars on a game truck and invite 30 people to get kids to come to my son’s birthday party? A birthday party is not a place to drop off all your kids (siblings included) so you can have the day to yourself. A birthday party is for the birthday child and his or her friends.

    I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

  • Missing My Grandpa

    Not really sure what brought his on. Maybe it was Dylan bringing home the worm farm from Cub Scouts or maybe it is because of all the talk about BBQ’s. Either way, both make me think of my Grandpa. He was not the typical Grandpa who gave hugs, but rather the one who showed his affection by putting me in playful headlock. He taught me how to fish and I remember playing with his big old bucket of earthworms when I was a small child. This would make my Grandma so mad. He taught me how to build the perfect BBQ with charcoal, newspaper, and small pieces of wood … layers were the key according to Grandpa. Oh how I loved watching him BBQ. He made the best BBQ chicken ever!

    Growing up without a father in my life I guess I clung to my Grandpa for the male figure I needed so much as child. Like me and Dylan, my Mom was a single mother who worked full-time and I went to my Grandma’s house every day after school. My grandparents meant the world to me. Funny how when I think about, life has come full circle with my parents and Dylan.

    When my Mom re-married, I was 10 years old … but never lost that connection with my Grandpa. His funeral was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and sad to say, I have not been back to visit him often enough. I guess it’s just too hard for me.

    As I write this, I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Being the first grandchild of many, I have always felt a special connection to my grandparents. I so wanted my Grandpa to see his first great-grandson. I am thankful that he was able to attend my wedding and in an odd sort of way, thankful that he was ailing when I went through my divorce. This way, he did not need to see the pain I went through. I remember when I was pregnant thinking if only Grandpa were here.

    Sad to say, I have no pictures of me with my Grandpa. I will have to ask my Mom if she has any. If she does, they are probably very old. He was not one for taking pictures, just as he was not one for showing his emotions or saying I Love You. I remember seeing him in the hospital during his final days and I leaned down to give him a kiss. He hugged me and said, “I Love You Michelle.” Wow, this coming from the man who only gave playful headlocks with a ‘hey you, glad you could make it.’

    This is the only picture I could find of my Grandpa. It was taking at my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary in May 1996. My grandfather passed in September 2001.

    Friends, take those pictures … no matter how much others say no or I didn’t do my hair. Take those pictures. Because one day, a picture is all that you will have left with your memories of earthworms and BBQ’s.

    This picture of Grandpa’s burial site was taking in 2005, the last time I went to visit. Before that I went one time when I was pregnant to talk to him and introduce my unborn child to him. I think it’s time Dylan and I took a trip to see my Grandpa. It’s time Dylan starts learning some of things his great-grandpa would have enjoyed teaching him and telling him some of the stories about me and my Grandpa.

    Maybe, just maybe the earthworms coming home with Dylan was my Grandpa’s way of saying ‘hey, glad you could make it’ …

  • Dylan’s 1st Grown-up Bed

    Ah, the day has finally come that my little guy is not so little anymore. There is no more denying it. It’s time for another bed. This time a bed that will last a little longer than 4 years.

    The crib was great until he quickly learned how to climb out of it. Thankfully his crib converted to a toddler bed, but he still seemed to climb out of it …

    At age 3 1/2 Dylan got a really nice bed. The sides came up around him and it wasn’t too high off the ground so I had no worries of him falling out of bed. This didn’t last too long either … he’s way to cool to sleep in this bed now. Not to mention the fact that he keeps bumping into the panels at night and banging his head.

    The goal was to get a bed that Dylan would love just as much as my bed and hopefully sleep in the new bed and not on the floor or on a chair!  By the look on his face, I think I have succeeded.

    He still thinks he is pretty cool, but at least he is on the bed this time …

    At least I did one thing right. The bedding I bought for his crib had matching bedding for the twin bed and I purchased it all at the same time. The small quilt that now lays at the foot of his bed was once the quilt that covered his tiny body in his crib.
    See, mom’s know how to hang on to their little boys … at least for a little while.