Life with Dylan

Category: Love

  • Did you know animals celebrate Valentines Day too?


    They give hippo size kisses …
    and mountain gorilla hugs …

    and koala size snuggles. 
    Happy Valentines Day!



  • A birthday letter to my son

    Dear Dylan,

    Nine years ago today I gave birth to the most wonderful child I could ever imagine. He was perfect in every possible way. That child was you. You have made me a better person and bring so much joy to my life. You continue to amaze me with your knowledge about animals and compassion for others. Sometimes I wonder if I’m talking to a child or an adult. Even though I often tell you to be quiet (because you talk non-stop), I love listening to you tell me about what you have learned.

    You have already done some pretty great things, including raising over $1,000 for the tigers, and I can’t wait to see what you do next. I just know that you are going to grow up and become something truly special. You have and you will continue to make a difference in the world.

    As much as I would like to keep you small and miss the days when I could hold you in my arms, I know that you are growing up. I no longer have to lift you up to see over the railing or hold you on my shoulders. I don’t have to tell you to hold my hand anymore, but I sure do like it when you reach for mine. You see Dylan, this tells me that in some small way you are still my little boy.

    And when you act silly or climb on animals statues begging for me to take your picture … well, this reminds me that you are still a kid too … at least a kid at heart.

    Happy Birthday Dylan!

    Love,
    Mom

  • Wordless Wednesday – All grown up

    A new haircut and he looks years older than he is. Oh, Dylan … don’t grow up so fast.

  • Why you need to keep taking those pictures …

    We all take pictures of our children – it’s what parents do. Birthday parties, holidays, vacations and now with cell phone cameras, there isn’t a reason we can’t snap a picture at any time of the day or night. Sometimes we think we take too many pictures and sometimes our children don’t want us to take their picture.

    Well, the next time your child says No more pictures Mom! – think again.

    Last night I was looking through old pictures on the computer and realized that sometimes a picture is worth more than a thousand words. Sometimes a picture, no matter how many times you have taken the same picture, same pose, same location … is priceless.

    The sign stayed the same, but boy did my son grow up! Not to mention the tress and the plants.

    Yep, he always wants to pose in the tree by the hippos. I won’t be telling him not another picture in the tree anymore.

    This has got to be one of my favorite “then and now” pictures from the San Diego Zoo. Ever since he was a toddler, he asks to eat at the Treetop Cafe – at his table. Yes, he actually believes that this is his table and we always sit here. In all the times we have visited the San Diego Zoo, these are the only two pictures I have of him at his table … now I’m wishing I had taken more.

    So wherever your “picture spot” may be, keep taking those pictures. There is a reason you stop each time to take a picture here – and nothing is more priceless than watching your child grow up in photographs.

  • Wordless Wednesday – Koala Kisses

    If this isn’t love between a mother and child, then I don’t know what is.

    So honored to have my photograph featured on the San Diego Zoo’s Tumblr page alongside so many amazing photographers.

  • Grandma’s 90th Birthday!

    Last week was my Grandma’s 90th birthday and the entire family got together on Sunday to celebrate this milestone in her life … Italian style! The family took over a back room at Lascari’s Restaurant in Whittier. We may be a wacky bunch, but we know how to eat and laugh and we know the meaning of family!

    The food was amazing, but I would expect nothing less!

    gnocchi with brown butter and garlic

    lasagna, just like Grandma makes

    cheese ravioli

    Aside from the food, we were here to celebrate a birthday. The woman who raised me because my mom worked full-time and was a single mother … much like me now … has spent 90 years on this planet. Ironic how history repeats itself. I hope Dylan has a bond as strong as I do with my Grandma with my Mom when he is older.

    (more…)

  • Everyone Needs Validation at One Time or Another

    Validation is something that I believe we all strive for at some point in our lives. Whether it is consciously or subconsciously, everyone desires their work or actions to be validated by family, friends, or society.

    For a child, validation can be seen in the smile on a parents face or heard in the clapping of hands for a job well done.

    For a student, validation can be seen in the grade received on a test or by achieving the honor roll.

    Once we reach adulthood, these acts of validation become harder to come by. Sure, as adults we receive a paycheck from our employers for a job we have done – but this is something we are told to do. Go to school, graduate, get a job, get paid, and be self-sufficient. This is what society expects of us.

    The type of validation I am talking about is much greater. The kind of validation that I am not really expecting; let alone looking for at this point in my life. The validation from a father, who I do not have the best relationship with, and have not seen in years. The father who left when I was only two years old; the father I have subconsciously yearned to get some sort of praise from since I was a young child.

    Last week I received not only praise and recognition, but validation on more than one level from this man. I am 41 years old and this man brought me to tears as I read his email. Tears of a little girl who loves her Daddy.

    Yes, I am a good mother.

    Yes, he is proud of his grandson.

    Most important, he is proud of his daughter. The validation I have been longing for all my life came today. This man, my father, sees me for me and has validated all of the little things I do in a way that no other person has. Ironically, the person I thought didn’t know me at all may be the one person who really does.

    He gets it. He gets me. He understands my purpose, my writing, and what drives me to do the things I do. No matter how small your actions may be in this world, no matter how much support you receive or do not receive, always remember that somebody out there is watching you from the sidelines. Anticipating your next accomplishment and waiting to give you that validation that you so desire, but would never dream of asking for.

  • A Mother’s Love

    Eight years ago today, at 12:10 am, I gave birth to the most beautiful 8 lb. 6 oz. 20 1/2 inches long baby boy.

    When I heard your first cry, when I held you in my arms, when I saw your face …
    Nothing else mattered.

    “It was the middle of the night and I had been awake for over 24 hours … but we were finally alone … just me and my son. All I could do was gaze at you in pure amazement. So this is the little guy who has been kicking me and pushing on my bladder. For months now I have imagined you smiling your Mommy’s smile, gazing at me with eyes like mine. As I held you in my arms I saw that you were more perfect than anything I had ever imagined! I want to be the one to nourish you, protect you, comfort you. I want to make your world a beautiful place just like you have for me.” – from Dylan’s Baby Book

    Nothing can break the bond of a Mother’s love … it only gets stronger with each passing day.

    Happy Birthday my sweet boy. You have given me the best 8 years of my life.

    I love you.

  • Missing My Grandpa

    Not really sure what brought his on. Maybe it was Dylan bringing home the worm farm from Cub Scouts or maybe it is because of all the talk about BBQ’s. Either way, both make me think of my Grandpa. He was not the typical Grandpa who gave hugs, but rather the one who showed his affection by putting me in playful headlock. He taught me how to fish and I remember playing with his big old bucket of earthworms when I was a small child. This would make my Grandma so mad. He taught me how to build the perfect BBQ with charcoal, newspaper, and small pieces of wood … layers were the key according to Grandpa. Oh how I loved watching him BBQ. He made the best BBQ chicken ever!

    Growing up without a father in my life I guess I clung to my Grandpa for the male figure I needed so much as child. Like me and Dylan, my Mom was a single mother who worked full-time and I went to my Grandma’s house every day after school. My grandparents meant the world to me. Funny how when I think about, life has come full circle with my parents and Dylan.

    When my Mom re-married, I was 10 years old … but never lost that connection with my Grandpa. His funeral was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and sad to say, I have not been back to visit him often enough. I guess it’s just too hard for me.

    As I write this, I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Being the first grandchild of many, I have always felt a special connection to my grandparents. I so wanted my Grandpa to see his first great-grandson. I am thankful that he was able to attend my wedding and in an odd sort of way, thankful that he was ailing when I went through my divorce. This way, he did not need to see the pain I went through. I remember when I was pregnant thinking if only Grandpa were here.

    Sad to say, I have no pictures of me with my Grandpa. I will have to ask my Mom if she has any. If she does, they are probably very old. He was not one for taking pictures, just as he was not one for showing his emotions or saying I Love You. I remember seeing him in the hospital during his final days and I leaned down to give him a kiss. He hugged me and said, “I Love You Michelle.” Wow, this coming from the man who only gave playful headlocks with a ‘hey you, glad you could make it.’

    This is the only picture I could find of my Grandpa. It was taking at my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary in May 1996. My grandfather passed in September 2001.

    Friends, take those pictures … no matter how much others say no or I didn’t do my hair. Take those pictures. Because one day, a picture is all that you will have left with your memories of earthworms and BBQ’s.

    This picture of Grandpa’s burial site was taking in 2005, the last time I went to visit. Before that I went one time when I was pregnant to talk to him and introduce my unborn child to him. I think it’s time Dylan and I took a trip to see my Grandpa. It’s time Dylan starts learning some of things his great-grandpa would have enjoyed teaching him and telling him some of the stories about me and my Grandpa.

    Maybe, just maybe the earthworms coming home with Dylan was my Grandpa’s way of saying ‘hey, glad you could make it’ …

  • Another Trip to the ER

    I can’t think of anything worse than when your child is sick and you have that gut feeling, that so-called mother’s instinct, that something is not right. What started out as a little tummy ache quickly turned to a headache and feeling dizzy. Then came the throw-up. Lots of it! Very pale, disoriented, lethargic. Yes, it’s time to go to the emergency room.
    So what do I do? Call for reinforcement … 1-800-GRANDMA

    Once at the hospital, Dylan is put into a wheelchair because he is so weak. And quite frankly, too heavy for me to carry. After explaining all of his symptoms to the doctor, he rules out the flu, meningitis, and any problems with Dylan’s appendix. Now it’s time to draw blood and see what we are missing. Oh no, the thought of this procedure makes my heart break. Dylan has no idea what is coming. At first we were told to keep him awake, but nothing happens quickly in the ER and he fell asleep. After all, it was now 10 pm. The nurse wants to wake him and I advise her not to. Better to just get it over with. Oh my … the screams … “help me, help me” … I couldn’t take it anymore and had to leave the room. Thank goodness for Grandma’s!

    After waiting almost 2 hours for the results from the blood test, all that was determined was that Dylan was dehydrated, white blood count was high, and no bacterial infection was detected. It’s viral and must run its course. Dylan was given medication to stop the vomiting and Tylenol for the pain.

    Around 1am Dylan wakes up and starts talking. Asking if we can go home. Suddenly he seems normal. Telling jokes, acting silly and asking animal trivia questions. He even let me take a video of him.

    Although he seemed better, we were not out of the woods yet. He pretty much sat on the couch the whole next day and didn’t eat or drink anything until late afternoon. As hard as I tried, he wouldn’t even drink water. Then he crashed out at 6 pm … not to wake until 12:30 am. Since I wasn’t going to sleep much anyway, I moved him into my bed for the night. He looks at me and says, “I’m better” and gives me a hug. Thanking me for taking care of him. My Dylan was back and I couldn’t be happier.