Life with Dylan

Category: Mom

  • Tough Decisions

    Sometimes in life we come to a fork in the road. We may only have to choose to go right or left, but sometimes we have another option – to continue going straight ahead. The hard part is deciding which way to go.

    (C) by http://www.martin-liebermann.de

    I have come to yet another fork in the road and something is telling me to go right instead of continuing on the path I have been going. The path that I have known. The path that is straight in front of me. This path is comfortable, I know it … but I’m not getting what I want or need.

    Letting things go that we love can be difficult. Sometimes downright painful. Letting go of something that I have put so much time and energy into is not an easy decision to make. However, other paths have presented themselves to me and I want to see what lies beyond the bend in the road. I want to see the forest through the trees and all the beauty it has to offer. For so long I have only seen the trees.

    I have not failed, because to fail at something means that I didn’t try. Didn’t try to do my best. My focus needs to change now and that scares me, but as with everything I have done in my life, I have no regrets.

    I believe I will take the path to the right and free up some space. Remove some of the trees that are keeping me from seeing the forest.

  • Time to Reflect

    The other day I was going through a box of old letters and pictures from high school.
    Reflecting on lots of things and deciding what path I want my life to take next. I found this and thought I would share because I like it so much. Can’t for the life of me remember where I got it from.

    A woman should have …
    one old love she can imagine going back to … and one who reminds her how far she has come.
     enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even id she never wants to.
    something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.
    a youth she’s content to leave behind … a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age.
    a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra … one friend who always makes her laugh … and one who lets her cry.
    a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family … eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.
    a feeling of control over her destiny.
    Every woman should know …
    how to fall in love without losing herself … how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
    when to try harder … and when to walk away.
    that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.
    that her childhood may not have been perfect … but it’s over.
    what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more.
    how to live alone … even if she doesn’t like it … whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally.
    where to go … be it to her best friends kitchen table … or a charming inn in the woods … when her soul needs soothing.
    what she can and can’t accomplish in a day … a month … a year …
    So how did you do? I have 14 out of the 16 and I know 12 out the 19. Guess I need to work on knowing.

  • Handmade Treasures by @Roxannima

    I’m a girl who likes pretty things. Shiny things. Unique things. A girl who loves jewelry. Everything from my hand-carved wooden ring to my diamond princess cut earrings.

    I recently discovered etsy and I think I may soon become addicted to the Pretty. Shiny. Unique. jewelry I have found. One of my newest finds arrived in the mail today and I am already wearing it … even though I’m not going anyplace tonight. I have had my eye on this necklace for about a month and finally broke down. I just had to have it for Halloween. Well, for the entire Fall season!

    Roxanne is a talented artist who makes the most beautiful and unique necklaces. They are delicate and rustic at the same time. The necklace is so light that I forget I am even wearing it.

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  • I’m in Print Today!

    Today may be just another Tuesday for most of you, but not for me and Dylan. Today an article I wrote for OC Moms made it in print. Page 3 of the Life section in today’s Orange County Register you can find my article about tips for visiting the Irvine Park Railroad Pumpkin Patch.

    When I showed Dylan the newspaper this morning he said, “My Mom is famous!” Well, not famous honey … more like accomplished  and recognized. Either way, it’s a big day in our house.

    If you don’t get the paper, you can still read the article online.

  • Finally Some Clarity In My Life

    I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but sometime over the past two days I got clarity on what I want from my life … what I want to portray through this blog … and what I will and won’t do.

    I will continue to talk about brands that I like, that I use, and products that I hope your family will try based on an honest review that I give. Maybe you will try a recipe that I post and maybe you won’t. That’s ok. This blog is for me. I write about what I want to write about with hopes that you will enjoy reading it.

    I now have clarity on what is important to me. My son and the happiness of my family comes first. I will continue to put everything I have into my business because I believe that Shel Comsetics deserves nothing less. Writing for OC Moms is enjoyable and I love the team of writers that I work with. They are real people with real lives that I can relate to.

    You will see some changes over the next few weeks to Life with Dylan and I hope that you like them as much as I will. This blog is about my Life with Dylan … what we do and places we go … how I survive motherhood and juggle multiple jobs. It’s about time I got back to writing about these things the way I intended to when I first started this blog!

  • Never Forget

    On this 10 year anniversary of the attack on our country and the loss of so many lives, I find myself lost in thought … pictures and memories flashing through my mind. Remembering where I was, the somber day at work, watching the news all day long, and how many people I knew had lost loved ones in the Towers and on that Pennsylvania field.

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  • Do Your Friends Know the Real You?

    What would the world be without friends? Where would Eeyore be without Pooh or Tigger without Rabbit?

    Over the past week or two I have been going through some pretty tough times. Probably some of the toughest and most trying times I have gone through as a mother in a long time. I was at a loss for words and didn’t know where to turn.

    Photo courtesy of Disney

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  • Everyone Needs Validation at One Time or Another

    Validation is something that I believe we all strive for at some point in our lives. Whether it is consciously or subconsciously, everyone desires their work or actions to be validated by family, friends, or society.

    For a child, validation can be seen in the smile on a parents face or heard in the clapping of hands for a job well done.

    For a student, validation can be seen in the grade received on a test or by achieving the honor roll.

    Once we reach adulthood, these acts of validation become harder to come by. Sure, as adults we receive a paycheck from our employers for a job we have done – but this is something we are told to do. Go to school, graduate, get a job, get paid, and be self-sufficient. This is what society expects of us.

    The type of validation I am talking about is much greater. The kind of validation that I am not really expecting; let alone looking for at this point in my life. The validation from a father, who I do not have the best relationship with, and have not seen in years. The father who left when I was only two years old; the father I have subconsciously yearned to get some sort of praise from since I was a young child.

    Last week I received not only praise and recognition, but validation on more than one level from this man. I am 41 years old and this man brought me to tears as I read his email. Tears of a little girl who loves her Daddy.

    Yes, I am a good mother.

    Yes, he is proud of his grandson.

    Most important, he is proud of his daughter. The validation I have been longing for all my life came today. This man, my father, sees me for me and has validated all of the little things I do in a way that no other person has. Ironically, the person I thought didn’t know me at all may be the one person who really does.

    He gets it. He gets me. He understands my purpose, my writing, and what drives me to do the things I do. No matter how small your actions may be in this world, no matter how much support you receive or do not receive, always remember that somebody out there is watching you from the sidelines. Anticipating your next accomplishment and waiting to give you that validation that you so desire, but would never dream of asking for.

  • Single Parent – Only Child

    Single. Alone. Without a companion. It is one thing to be a full-time single mom; however, it is another thing to be an only child. Sure, both are alone, but as a single mom I have plenty of chores and activities to keep me busy. Sometimes a little busier than I would like. I don’t really have time to sit and think about the fact that I am all alone. Sure, I have my friends to talk to and co-workers, but we all know that just is not the same as a companion.



    An only child on the other hand has every waking moment to realize that he or she is, in fact, alone. It is a full-time job, sometimes a mission, for an only child to find a companion. Someone to play with, someone to laugh with. Living in an apartment complex doesn’t seem to help matters much either. My son doesn’t understand why some days the neighbor kids can play and other days they cannot. I can see it in his sad eyes, holding back the tears, when he comes home and says they are having family time. Either their Dad just got home and they want to play with him or the three siblings are watching a movie together. Family time. Something my son has never had. Yes, we do things together and have tons of fun. We laugh together, but sometimes we cry together too.

    I know that I am a good Mom and that my son has a good life, so why do I always feel guilty about the fact that he has no Dad and no siblings to play with? He is well adjusted, smart, loves to read, and an all-around great child. However, there are so many days when I look at him, really look at him, and see the sadness deep within his eyes. I see the emptiness of being an only child, longing for someone to play with him each day when he comes home from school.

    Like me, my son is single. Alone. Without a companion. The difference is I have come to accept it and filled my days with caring for him. Making sure that I do all I can to give him a good life. So again I ask you, why do I feel so guilty?

  • Dylan’s Lego Birthday – Part 1

    Last week was Dylan’s 8th birthday and the festivities seemed to go on forever. Maybe that is why I kept putting off writing this blog post. Or maybe it is because I was hoping for something a little more exciting to write about. So much time and preparation went into planning Dylan’s LEGO Birthday party. Everything he wanted, I somehow managed to make happen. The only thing I couldn’t do was make people show up!

    Yes, I said it, people didn’t show up to his party. I wonder what posses a parent to RSVP with a yes and confirm via email only days before the party and then not show up. No call, no email, no text … nothing. Only three kids showed up and two of them were twins, so that doesn’t really count. So basically, two people showed up out of the seven who said they would be here. Well, we made the best of it and still had fun!

    The living room was transformed into a Lego-wonderland and the kids had time to build whatever they wanted. Some of the creations were great! We even had a jar filled with Lego’s and the person who guessed the closest to how many Lego’s were in it won a prize. I knew there was a good reason for Dylan to own so many Lego’s.

    Next we played Lego Bingo with a great template I found  from Amy at LivingLocurto.com The kids loved this game so much that we played three times! Since all the kids didn’t show up, I had extra prizes to give away … see I found one positive already!



    Using Lego mini kits we also had races to see who could build the kit the fastest. However, I was so busy watching the kids that I forgot to take pictures of this. Oops!

    Mini Corn Dogs, Cheese Balls, and Fresh Fruit
    Cake designed by Dylan – Made by Mom

    All in all, the kids had a good time. The birthday kit from the Lego Store was huge hit with kids too!

    I guess the mom in me just feels bad that my son couldn’t have had a better party. The party that he had dreamed about.

    Is there something wrong with home birthday parties? Do parents only want to go if the party is at a pool or a bounce house like Jump ‘n Jammin? Do I need to pay hundreds of dollars on a game truck and invite 30 people to get kids to come to my son’s birthday party? A birthday party is not a place to drop off all your kids (siblings included) so you can have the day to yourself. A birthday party is for the birthday child and his or her friends.

    I would love to hear your thoughts on this!