Life with Dylan

Category: Thoughts and Reflections

  • Saying goodbye to my childhood home was harder than I thought

    Some of life’s big events we are prepared for, while others take us by surprise. Not surprised like you didn’t know it was going to happen, but surprised by how the event effected you. I have known that my parents were selling their house for over a year now. This was something that had been talked about over and over.

    The house was on the market for almost a year with nothing. Then there was an offer – and the next words that took over the conversations were “in escrow”. Everything seemed to be moving along, yet nothing had really changed. Sure, we had a few garage sales and my mom started cleaning out some closets, but the house still looked and felt the same.

    The house where I grew up. Where my tree was planted. Where I was picked up for my first date. Where I spent so many holidays with family.

    Anniversary parties, wedding receptions, bridal showers, baby showers, and my son’s 1st birthday were all at this house.

    This was the home where I lived when my son was born, the home he came home to from the hospital. The home where he learned to crawl and walk.

    Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

    So many memories – 30 years worth – were suddenly being packed into boxes. One closet at a time. One room at a time. It was all disappearing before my eyes.

    The last week of packing was like a whirlwind. So much to do and so little time. I don’t think it really sank in until the final days when the moving trucks arrived.

    On the final day we had one last family dinner together and reminisced about growing up in the house. So many of my favorite sunset pictures were taken from the balcony off my parents bedroom that I had to get a few more pictures.

    Looking around at the empty rooms and the boxes was unreal to me. Was this really happening? I felt like I was walking in a dream. In fact, I have felt that way for about a week now. Slowly, day by day, it is sinking in that my childhood home is gone. I drive by it and nobody is there. It’s just an empty house. I won’t be walking through the front doors any more yelling “Hello, I’m here … Mom, where are you?”

    So here it is. My last sunset picture from the balcony of my childhood home.

    I think it is ironic that the final sunset was filled with dark clouds signifying the end of something. Sadness and emptiness. So many memories in that house. So many memories.

    A chapter in my life has closed and it is time to start a new chapter. New schedules, new routines, and new responsibilities. Who knows, maybe it was time for a change … I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the familiar life I had known for so many years.

  • My ah-ha moment was almost too simple to see

    What started as one of our regular visits to the San Diego Zoo Safari Park – see some wildlife, take some pictures, and get my rhino fix – turned into something so much more than I had planned. I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised because every time we visit the park I leave feeling a little different, a little better, a little more at peace with the world than I did when we arrived.

    We didn’t follow the normal route this day. Instead, we decided to take the back way up to Condor Ridge before the sun got too hot. The smell of the trees as you walk up to Condor Ridge is so refreshing. Add to this the sounds of babbling brooks and small woodland creatures rustling in the bushes. Before you know it, you are transported to a land of pure beauty where nothing bad can happen.

    Surrounded by majestic trees and rolling hillsides … the view literally takes my breath away.

    I could sit up here for hours just soaking in the beauty. I realize that I am in the midst of what some call an ah-ha moment – I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Just then my son sits down next to me on the bench and says, “Mom, isn’t it nice to just sit and watch nature?” My heart fluttered a bit and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. How could he know what I was thinking?

    Yes, it was a wonderful moment. One that I believe we both needed. In our own ways, we both came to a place of peace. Surrounded by the beauty of Mother Nature, watching rhinos and giraffes roam the hills in the distance with my son, everything seemed to become clear to me.

    My ah-ha moment was almost too simple for me to see.

    When I stopped running in circles and took the time to breathe, I realized that the important things in life are not on Facebook, or Google Plus, or Twitter.

    The important things in life are right in front of me …  

  • Quiet mornings, coffee, and making plans

    Today was my last day of winter break. For the past two weeks I have not had to think about work or schedules or being anyplace that I didn’t want to be. Two weeks of vacation that didn’t require packing a suitcase or staying in hotels. Exactly what I needed. I have enjoyed my quiet mornings with a cup of coffee and my late nights with hot cups of tea.

    My mind has been in overdrive, which is strange considering I took two weeks off from blogging and haven’t been writing. Instead, I have been thinking and making plans. Thinking is so much more than just solving a problem or getting a good grade in school. I am talking about really thinking – deep thoughts about the world and your life and what great things you will do next.

    Nothing is finalized yet, so I can’t give you too many details. However, I can tell you that I will be doing something very special to help with rhino conservation and that I will be taking on a challenge of something that I have never done before. It is all very exciting and a little scary at the same time.

    For now, I will continue to get lost in my own thoughts. I will enjoy the next two days – the weekend – before going back to work on Monday. I will keep taking life one day at a time and while my mornings may go back to being a little hectic, I will cherish my quiet mornings with coffee.

  • Goodbye 2012, it’s been a wonderful year.

    As another year comes to an end, I have spent the last few days looking back and remembering all the wonderful things that have happened for my family. So many “firsts” and some milestones for Dylan – not to mention the wonderful new friends we have made through our love of photography and the new friends I have made through twitter.

    At times I question writing this blog, and think I should just stop. The computer and social media can consume so much of your time … but today I am thankful for writing the blog.

    This blog allows me to walk down memory lane with just a click of the mouse. Better than any photo album I could imagine.

    Life with Dylan is a combination of thoughts, reflections, and pictures that tell a story – our story.

    January:
    Dylan wins the Cub Scout Pine Derby and takes Grandpa to the winners circle with him.
    The photo bug bit me when I got a new camera and spent the day at the San Diego Zoo.

    February:
    My obsession with jellyfish continues …

    March:
    Reminding myself that some days you just need to have fun and my no holding back open letter for all the single moms out there. I believe March was the turning point for me – where my life took on a new direction.

    April:
    The turning point in Dylan’s life when he met Zookeeper Rick and I realized that my job was to inspire, support, and love my child. And the day when I finally saw the picture in what we call the blogosphere.

    May:
    Thanks to Pinterest and the San Diego Zoo I found a new love for tigers.
    A very special Mother’s Day and more wonderful memories were made at the San Diego Zoo.
    Oh, and my most favorite post of May … Dylan’s Birthday Wish for the Tigers.

    June:
    We pinned it for tigers and we won a behind the scenes tour at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. I learned that one person can make a difference and that I was that one person. I celebrated a birthday, wrote a thank you letter to the ocean and was reminded why it is so important to keep taking pictures.

    July:
    Started daydreaming more and turned our dreams into a family bucket list. Dylan turned 9 and his birthday wish came true!

    August:
    This was a pretty big month for us. Dylan’s love for photography grows and he takes a few tips from mom. We celebrated Yun Zi’s 3rd birthday and dreamed of a world without habitat destruction. We said goodbye to a legacy, published our family bucket list, and realized how great the power of one can be. 

    September:
    Along with going back to school, September was time to slow down and make some lifestyle changes. It was the start of Sunset Sundays and Endangered Species Mondays.

    October:
    After a long hot summer, rain finally fell in Southern California and we saw the first signs of the seasons changing. Want to change the world? Start by educating the children … and then watch as they beam with pride when recognized for their efforts by the White House.

    November:
    This was another big month for us. I am sure it won’t be the last time, but Dylan amazed me with his thinking and how the mind of a child wonders why … After months of saving, we sent our second box of packaging to Terra Cycle instead of throwing it in the trash. Not knowing it at the time, but we wrote what would quickly become our most popular post on saving the orangutans. I also learned how to stay positive in a world filled with negativity.

    December:
    Time to slow down and recharge. We didn’t do much writing in December, but instead took some time off to relax and be a family.

    Wow, looking back I can see that my family has really grown and changed as individuals too. We saw the big picture and realized what the important things were in life. I foresee some big changes coming in 2013, but I will save that for a new post in the new year.

  • We all need time to recharge

    So I’ve been away from the blog for a few days, taking some time to catch my breath and gather my thoughts. I know that life is going to get hectic over the next month with Christmas and the various holiday events. I felt the need to declutter and reorganize my life.

    Not just the physical aspects of my life, but the mental too. I needed to recharge. So many changes occurred this year, for me and for Dylan. We started a journey that was only a dream for so long and now it is becoming a reality. I needed to slow down a little and get my focus back. Focus on what was important.

    I started by tackling that shelf in the closet. You know the one where everything that doesn’t have a home gets put … we all have one. Then I spent about an hour cleaning up the files in my computer. Did I really need that word document from 2005? No, I didn’t think so either. To the recycle bin it went. Next it was on to social media. My twitter feed was so out of control, filled with hashtags and sponsored posts that I really have no desire to see. Away they went and I created lists – oh, how I love twitter lists.

    I spent time going through the past 4 months of photographs – organizing, editing, and uploading favorites to Flickr. And of course the whole time I was doing this I was watching Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel. Well, when I started looking at pictures and had Christmas movies in the background, I had a brilliant idea to design our Christmas card. I spent more time than I had planned doing this, but I am so happy with the results.

    Although these things may seem like nothing to you, they were everything to me. Sometimes those little things that we don’t think are important really are. Why? Because those little things that we keep putting off begin to cloud what really is important. So now that I am recharged, it is time to start decorating the house for Christmas and get back to writing about what I love.

    Life can get hectic during the holidays, so make sure you take time to slow down, recharge, and enjoy the little things life has to offer.

  • Trying to stay positive in a world of negativity

    I learned something yesterday. Well, actually I realized something, because I believe I have always known that my way of living is different from that of others. I had difficulty keeping myself engaged in conversations because my thoughts and opinions were different than those around me. At times I felt like banging my head against the wall because nobody seemed to understand what I was saying.

    I believe that everyone has the right to their own opinions about politics, the environment, and what type of job is best for them. I don’t believe that someone should be put down or made to feel inferior because their opinions may not be the norm. I live an eco-friendly lifestyle, love wildlife, love photography, and believe that in some small way I am doing something to make this world a better place.

    I do my best to minimize waste and recycle everything I can. Seeing so many things go into a trash can that can be recycled hits a nerve that I can’t seem to get over. Yet it seems I have to walk on eggshells when voicing this opinion. Seeing plastic bags everywhere drives me crazy – people reusable bags are not that expensive and they won’t sit in landfills or pollute the oceans. In fact, most stores sell them for under a dollar. The food waste during the holidays is unbelievable. I won’t even get started on this one.

    I don’t believe in giving a lot of materialistic gifts. We don’t need them and sadly, most will end up in a landfill at some point. Sure, I purchased a camera for my son as a gift this year, but he is passionate about photography and needs a camera that actually works to pursue this passion. For the third year in a row, I will be giving friends and family gifts that cannot be bought in a store. I will be purchasing wish list items from the San Diego Zoo and adopting animals to help save wildlife. These gifts come from the heart and I would be honored to receive such a gift. What difference does it make if my family spends $50 on a gift that I can probably do without or if they adopt an animal in my name for $50?

    If a rhino is murdered in Africa, most people don’t give it a second thought. Me on the other hand – I sit here and cry as I’m reading the news story wondering what I can do to make it all stop. I believe in making a change for the better and that the results of my actions will last longer than my life here on earth.

    Last night I was talking with a friend and she reminded me to keep following my passions. She said that the older generations dislike change and that the best we can do is keep voicing our beliefs and teach the younger generations. I already knew what she said was true, but it never hurts to be reminded that it is ok to be different – to march to the beat of your own drum.

    I will …
    Never give up.
    Stay strong.
    Be positive.

    Why? Because …
    One person can make a difference.

  • Taking time to be myself and loving it

    Lately I have been taking some time to look within myself. Looking at the path I have chosen to follow and at those that have allowed me to lead them down the same path.

    I have people that I admire and look to for guidance. They have taught me how to be a leader myself and to inspire others.

    Some may not agree with the path I have chosen, but that doesn’t mean I should pretend to be something I am not.

    I see enough fake people in this world to know that this is not something I want to be. Call me an environmentalist, call me a tree hugger, call me crazy if you like. It really doesn’t bother me anymore.

    Why? Because I believe in what I am doing. I believe that I am making a difference and inspiring others. Unlike some people I know, I actually practice the very things I write about and talk about. There was a time when I cared more about what other people thought and believed than what I myself believed. I was afraid to let people see the real me. However, when I quit hiding behind the facade I learned that more people respected me. Those that continued to pretend to be someone else, the followers of this world, started to stand out like a sore thumb to me. They would say one thing and live their life in the complete opposite.

    I don’t understand this way of thinking. If you believe strongly in something than you should live your life following that path. In other words, don’t preach about something if you don’t practice it yourself.

    Why can’t people just follow the path they choose and be proud of it?

  • Either I’m growing up or I’m growing old

    Lately I have found myself being a little more introverted than usual. I have been enjoying quiet evenings reading blogs or curled up on the couch with a book.

    I would rather spend time learning something new than going to happy hour. Makeup, fashion, and other materialistic things just are not as important as they once were.

    I began thinking … is something wrong with me?

    Of course not, I’m just taking a new path. Crossing a new bridge that I haven’t been on before.

    Then I remembered the story of Peter Pan. The boy who wouldn’t grow up even though he continued to age. It dawned on me – have I grown up?

    I’ve been slowly changing over the past year or two. Slowing down a bit. Turning my focus in life to other things. Acting more like a mom, acting my age. Yes, we all grow old or older, but do we all grow up?

    I came to the conclusion that I have grown up. No more late nights, no more spending money on frivolous things that I don’t need, and no more tolerating things that I don’t like. If I don’t like something, I don’t have to be a part of it. I think more rationally now – I think about the future – about the things I want to do and places I want to go. My life is taking a new path and if this means spending more time at home or more time with my son than so be it.

    I’m still not to sure about the growing old part, but I sure do like how it feels to grow up.

  • Anything is possible when you think like a child

    When nothing seems to be going right and your day seems like it can’t get any worse … remember what it was like to have the mind of a child. The word impossible was not in your vocabulary.

  • The benefits of slowing down and making some lifestyle changes

    Sometimes you need to take a step back – take a step outside yourself and look within yourself. When you do this it is easier to see what changes need to be made. Sometimes the change can be small and other times the change can be quite drastic.

    Just as the clouds change and draw our attention to the sky, lifestyle changes can bring our attention back to the important things. Back to the basics. 

    Change allows us to see things from a different perspective. What is causing so much stress? What can I do to relax more? Do I really need that in my life? Sometimes we are forced to make changes due to financial situations, but the changes that we make because we want to change something – those are the best kind of changes.

    Over the past week I have made some drastic lifestyle changes. I have made a conscious effort to remove stress and all drama from my life. I’ve decided to slow down a bit and spend more time reflecting on the important things. Now while these things may not be important to you, they are important to me. It does not matter how many times people tell you to change something, the change will not matter, nor will the change become a permanent lifestyle change unless you make the decision to change yourself.

    First things first, I had to remove what was causing me the most stress and taking away from the peace I so badly wanted in my life. Getting rid of the drama and “fake” friends was top on my list.
    Removing the drama was actually very easy. Just the click of a mouse – delete, unfriend, unfollow. While this may sound harsh, it was necessary and needed. Taking time for me – well, that was a simple as getting up a little earlier to enjoy the sunrise. Eating better has also made a significant difference in how my son and I feel. Diet and exercise, even if it is just walking to watch the sunset have brought a sense of peace to my days.

    Slowing down meant taking time to read and spending less time on the internet. Less time watching television. Canceling cable took care of wasted time and saved me over $100 a month. A co-worker gave me a great book to read, Financial Peace Revisited by Dave Ramsey, and I have never felt better about spending or saving money.

    Most importantly, I learned that I had to make the changes for myself. I am 42 years old and shouldn’t have to answer to anyone but myself. Therefore, I am slowing down and enjoying the lifestyle changes I chose.

    Whatever the case may be, change is always good.

    What changes can you make in your life to be happier?