Life with Dylan

Category: Thoughts and Reflections

  • Wordless Wednesday – What Do You See?

    Do you see the forest or the trees?

  • Is it a phone or another toy?

    Don’t get me wrong, I love my iPhone as much as everybody else does, but sometimes I wonder whose phone it is. It seems like I am constantly telling my son “It’s a phone – Not a toy”

    Yes, I play games on my phone, who doesn’t? And if you say you don’t then you are probably in denial. However, the majority of the time I am making an actual phone call or checking my emails from my phone. OK, I might be texting, tweeting, instagraming, or checking in … but it’s my phone. I paid for it. I’m the adult.

    The other day I was looking for a picture that I took for a blog post and stumbled across something that caught my attention.

    An alligator on ice skates pushing another alligator in a shopping cart? What is this?

    Did I take a picture of something and not remember?

    Oh wait, this looks like a game my son was playing the other day. So I ask him if he took a picture on the phone? Nope. I said, “really – because there is a picture of an alligator on ice skates” … Oh, yeah that’s from my game Where’s My Water?

    This is just a brief account of the conversation because in reality this went on for about 5 minutes before he admitted taking a picture. Although he didn’t really take a picture – he just saved the reward he got in the game. I don’t care that he plays games, nor do I care that he saved a picture of the game. What I do care about is that he realizes it’s a phone!

    You know that thing we use to call people? If he keeps playing games and draining the battery, then what happens when we actually need to use the phone to call someone?

    Do your kids take over your iPhone? What age is the appropriate age to get a kid their own iPhone?

  • Family Time

    There is something to be said for spending time together as a family. Not just sitting in front of the television together, but real quality time together. This doesn’t mean you have to spend lots of money – be creative and think about what your child enjoys doing.

    You may be surprised at how the simplest things, like playing a game of checkers with your child, will mean more to them than spending the day at an amusement park. It’s the time when you turn off the television. Unplug from the internet. Put down the phone. (yes, I did pause to take this picture and was quickly reminded of the rules – No phone Mom) The time when you give all of your attention to your child.

    This is what they will remember. Believe it or not, children pay more attention to the times we say “Just a minute” or “I can look when I finish my work” than we think they do. And before long, they will stop asking you to look at the picture they just drew – or the LEGO creation they just made.

    Before you know it, your child will be too busy with their friends to even want to play a board game with you or swing at the park. I often wonder how my son got so big so fast – and before I know it, he will be dating and going off to college.

    This may sound far fetched since he is only 8 years old, but these past eight years flew by. So who’s to say the next eight years won’t fly by just as fast?

    Quality time can’t be bought.

    Quality time is priceless.

    How much quality time do you spend together as a family?

  • Five on Friday – Memorable Moments

    Everyone has good days and then there are those days that are better than good. These days I like to call the best days of my life. Sometimes these days leave something in our lives that will last forever – other times these days come and go with only a glimpse of what could have been.

    Either way, they are all memorable moments. At one point in time, these moments were the best days of my life.

    • The day I gave birth to my son. I think my favorite moment that day was when everyone had left the hospital and it was just me and Dylan in the hospital room. 
    • The day I got married and the day I got divorced. Yes, strange I know – but it’s the truth. 
    • The day I saw my article in The Orange County Register. 
    • The day I passed the State Board exam and became a licensed esthetician. 600 hours of hard work had finally paid off – and I did it even though people said I would not.
    • The day I realized that I would do anything for my child. Even if it means sacrificing something I want or need. This is the day I learned what love really meant. 

    Take a minute and think about the best days of your life. What are your most memorable moments?

  • Follow your Passion

    Have you ever done something for so long that you just burn out?
    The thought of doing something one more time is just unbearable?
    Well, that was me 6 months ago. After doing bridal makeup for close to 12 years, I had to just walk away. I couldn’t imagine packing my kit one more time, or cleaning my brushes, or dealing with one more small cramped hotel room with poor lighting.

    It felt great – no wonderful – to have my weekends back, but something has been missing. I started getting depressed and unmotivated to style my hair (the ponytail became my new best friend) and only wore makeup when I had to. This was and is not me.

    I love makeup. Makeup is my passion.

    I recently spent 2 whole weeks home with my son for the holidays and spent more time than I care to admit on the computer. Tweeting. Pinning. Googling. Writing. You name it and I did it. However, one thing I realized a few days ago is that all of this activity seemed to be focused around one thing – Beauty.

    I was drawn to it. Makeup, skincare, beauty articles, and fashion magazines seemed to fill my days and nights. Is this just a coincidence? No. It’s my passion – and I’m good at it. Beauty is what I know. I can pick apart a photo in a magazine and tell you what is real and what is airbrushed. I can take that photo and recreate the look. I can tell you which ingredients are good for your skin and which ones you should stay away from.

    So I started asking myself why did I leave? Why did I give up on my passion?

    The answer was really quite simple. I just needed a break.
    Rather than quit, I should have scaled back. Less weddings and more photo shoots. More variety.

    Sometimes it’s good to take a break, but even better to know you still have a passion for something and just needed some time away to realize it. Michelle Fryer, Makeup Artist never left – I was just hiding out for a little bit – but now I’m back and ready to make 2012 amazing. One beauty article and one face at a time.

    The Facebook fan page is back, Beautyisms is new and the website will be getting a makeover soon. Now it’s time to hit the beauty stores and start revamping my kit!

  • Five on Friday – New Year Wishes

    There are only two days left in 2011 and many people are talking about making New Year Resolutions.

    Will you make them? Will you keep them? The top 5 resolutions are … and so on.

    Well, after making and breaking New Year Resolutions for more years than I care to count, I have decided to do something different this year.

    I’m making New Year Wishes!

    Wait, that’s the same thing – just a different word, but it’s not. A resolution is something you vow or promise to resolve/fix. A wish is something you hope for. You can’t break a wish.

    So for today’s Five on Friday I am going to share some of my New Year Wishes …

    1. Spend more time reading the books and magazines I have piled up. I really want to read them, but just never seem to find the time. I wish to find the time in 2012. 
    2. Organize the 6 years worth of photos on my computer so I can find what I’m looking for. I’m thinking I will start by year and then my month or occasion. Or maybe by occasion and within that months/years. I wish to spend less than an hour finding a photo in 2012.
    3. Stop second guessing myself. I spend way too much time over-thinking and analyzing things. Yet on the other hand, I’m known to make snap decisions that I later regret. See, there I go already. I wish to think things through in a timely manner, without worrying what others will say in 2012.
    4. Finish decorating my apartment. I have been here going on 4 years and still no window coverings, my bedroom isn’t finished, and now it’s time to change Dylan’s room. I wish to have the decorating bug bite me in 2012.
    5. Learn more. Just because I’m not in school anymore doesn’t mean I have to stop learning. I don’t need a classroom or a textbook to learn when I have the internet and public library. Maybe I will check out a book on Greek Mythology or U.S. History. Maybe I will learn a new craft. I wish to broaden my knowledge of everything in 2012.
    What do you wish for in 2012?

  • Mommy, Is Santa Claus Real?

    As the holidays approached this year I had a heavy heart. Knowing this could very well be the last year that Dylan believes in Santa Claus and wanting to make it the best Christmas ever was something that I struggled with for the past few days. Financially, I just couldn’t afford the iPad we both wanted – although it would have been the perfect gift to both of us. I knew that he would be happy with whatever he got Christmas morning, but as single parent I always worry if he is getting everything he needs.

    So last night when Dylan asked, “Mommy, is Santa Claus real?” I almost told him the truth.

    However, after a wonderful sermon at church about believing in the spirit of Christmas and the wonderful gift that God gave to us, I had a change of heart. As Dylan lay tossing and turning in bed – unable to fall asleep because he was so excited for Santa to come – I asked him if he wanted me to tell him a story.

    I read him The Night Before Christmas (our annual tradition) and then told him about believing in Christmas magic. The magic of Santa. I told him that if he believed with all his heart in the magical spirit of Santa Claus, then Santa would come. I told him that Santa was whatever he believed him to be. I told him that Santa had been watching him all year long and was very proud of him – and that I knew for a fact he was on the nice list. All of this was true. I was not lying about anything.

    Santa Claus is a magical belief that brings joy to children of all ages. The spirit of giving something that is so special, it only comes once a year. A gift that will bring happiness and love to whoever receives the gift.

    We cannot see God, but we believe in God and that he gave us a gift, the gift of his only son.

    Nobody has ever seen Santa Claus – and I doubt they ever will. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t believe in him. Believing in something gives you hope. Hope that tomorrow will be better than today.

    Presents – yes, Santa Claus brings presents. But is it the presents that get us excited or is it the anticipation of finding out what’s inside of them? Does it matter who gives the presents to you or how much they cost? No, what matters is that someone thought of you and decided to give you something special.

    I don’t think this was the story that Dylan had in mind, but I do believe he enjoyed it. I ended the story with asking him the same question he had asked me … “Dylan, is Santa Claus real?”

    “Yes Mom, if you believe.”

    This morning after opening presents, Dylan came over to me as I sat on the couch drinking my coffee and gave me the biggest hug. I think it was hug #6 (I only gave him two presents, the others were from Santa) and he said, “Thanks Mom, I believe in you.”

    Does this mean he knows who Santa is? I’m not sure and I didn’t bother asking.

  • Five on Friday – Favorite Blog Posts

    I spent last night looking through old pictures and reading some old blog posts. Never before is it more true that my thoughts, put into words, are telling a story. People say that whatever you put on the internet will be around for years to come. I sure hope so. I want my son to be able to read this blog years from now and remember everything we did together – and even read the posts that had nothing to do with visiting the zoo, but that were my way of sharing my thoughts and feelings.

    So this week’s Five on Friday is a listing of some of my favorite blog posts.

    A New Chapter – my very first blog post, where it all began.

    Wii Love Christmas Morning – the year Santa brought Dylan to tears.

    He Doesn’t Need “Mommy” Anymore – the day I cried

    Another Milestone in Life – one of the proudest days in my life.

      Is the American Dream Still Alive? – a turning point in my life.

    As much as I enjoy reading friends current postings, it’s always fun to randomly select an old blog post and read it again – or maybe read it for the first time.

  • The Great Weight Debate

    One week into the holiday season and I already feel like I have gained 5 lbs. after the Thanksgiving leftovers. The older I get, the harder it is to work of the weight gain and I still have Christmas and New Years to get through.

    I try to resist, really, I do. I read all the articles in magazines about healthy eating, you know the ones right next to the amazing recipe for a holiday dessert you just have to make. I scan the blog posts about eating healthier and how it’s soooo easy to keep the weight off. Yeah, right … what world do you live in and how fast is your metabolism?

    It’s not that I eat that bad either. French fries – sure, but only 1-2 times a month. That’s not that much. I happen to love cooking, I’m Italian for heaven sake, we cook and we eat! And I bake – double whammy!

    So I am left with what I like to call the great weight debate. It wasn’t too long ago that I lost 30 lbs. and felt awesome. I kept the weight off for about a year and then it slowly crept back up on me. A few pounds here, another 5 lbs. there – and before I knew it, I had gained 20 lbs back.

    Do I exercise? No, not really.
    Would that make a difference? Probably.
    Do I have the time? No, not really.
    Could I make the time? Probably.

    So, as I enter the month of December, I will not deprive myself of my Peppermint Lattes or the occasional Cranberry Bliss Bar. Seriously people – these only come around once a year and I love my Starbucks.

    Instead, I will once and for all accept that this is the weight I should be. No matter how much dieting or changing of eating habits I do, I always come back to this weight. My son will love me regardless of the number on the scale. My family will do the same. As for my friends, my true friends, the will love me and accept me too. For those people that look down on me because I’m not a size 4 anymore … well, I don’t need people like that in my life and neither do you.

    Do you struggle with the great weight debate? Why do we, as women, put such an emphasis on the size of our clothes and that damn number on the scale?

  • It’s OK to Say Stop

    What does it take for a person to say enough is enough? How many sleepless nights and anxiety attacks does it take before one realizes that we are, in fact, only human?
    Personally, I don’t have that answer because it is different for everyone. However, the warning signs are there and we must recognize them. For those people like me, with type A personalities – you know who you are – the ones who must have everything in order, be in control, and don’t have the word NO in their vocabulary – it takes drastic measures. I thrive on stress and sleepless nights. To just sit and relax … why this thought is absurd!
    I have 10 balls in the air and I am quite good at juggling them. Take one of those balls away and I go into a panic. Well, that is until recently. When I got down to only 7 balls in the air, I realized that I was even better at keeping them up. I could throw them higher – and maybe even do a little trick.
    I found the anxiety attacks were less frequent. The sleepless nights – not so much. My son actually enjoyed talking to me and I enjoyed spending time with him. I had time to just sit and watch a movie or read a magazine. This gave me a wonderful idea.
    What if I tried to only juggle 5 balls at once?
    Half the amount I was accustomed to, but if I could juggle 7 balls and have time for a trick, imagine what I could with only 5? 
    Slowly, I began to let some things go
    … and you know what?
    I was even better than before!
    My life is better. I am happier. I sleep at night. Anxiety attacks are pretty much a thing of the past. I have time to “Stop and smell the roses” (yes, it’s a cliché, but you know it’s true)
    Bottom line is I learned to say Stop and you can too.
    Stop trying to do everything. Stop trying to outdo your friends and co-workers. Nobody likes a name-dropper or a person who says I do it all. Find what you love and hone in on those talents.
    For example, if you like to bake and want to start a baking business, then bake. Just don’t bake pies, cakes, cookies, cupcakes, tarts, and anything you think others will like. Find the one you like most and perfect it. Bake the perfect cookies and the world will flock to buy them.
    Why do everything just to be average when you can do one or two things and be AMAZING!

    If you are reading this and think I am talking about you, you may be right. However, I had nobody in mind when I wrote this except myself. It took me almost 2 years to realize it was OK to say Stop … and if reading this makes you think about yourself then maybe it’s time you said Stop too.